


Runaway

by ifyoucouldfly



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Angst, Character Study, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, POV Catra (She-Ra), Post-Canon, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, but like barely, i guess, implied sorta, still tagged T cause I'm a coward, this is my coping mechanism to deal with the finale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-16
Updated: 2020-05-16
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:40:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24212254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ifyoucouldfly/pseuds/ifyoucouldfly
Summary: The world is saved and she's finally with the one that she loves, but Catra's still learning how to stop running.
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Comments: 9
Kudos: 255





	Runaway

**Author's Note:**

> This is basically just a super quick examination of Catra and Catradora in the years following the finale. AKA my coping mechanism to deal with how emo the finale has me. If you want to scream with me, my tumblr is @catbruhdora. Sorry if this is shit it's like 2 am and I haven't written fic in years I just have to process this shit

Catra bragged about it for years to come.

“You should hear the story of our first kiss,” she’d say to anyone who would listen, arm draped proudly over Adora’s shoulder. “It literally saved the universe.” 

It was mostly a joke, meant to aggravate the other princesses as they were forced to listen to her recount the story at every banquet and soiree. But it was, of course, true. Their kiss had saved the universe. The love that she and Adora had for one another was powerful enough to literally topple empires and reshape worlds.

It was scary, how powerful it was. Catra knew that better than anyone. She’d spent a long time hurting people, herself included, as she’d tried to run away from her feelings for Adora. And even now, even after their happily-ever-after, she was still terrified from time to time.

Love made you vulnerable, especially the sort of love that she and Adora had. And Catra had never been good at being vulnerable. It had always been her instinct to close up, to lash out, to run away.

There were moments that were harder than others.

After destroying the Heart, she and Adora hadn’t been able to keep their hands off one another. It was like they were trying to reclaim lost time, to make up for all those years wasted repressing their feelings. For the first few days, they floated around in a state of pure bliss — the adrenaline of having cheated death mixing with the dizzying elation of finally being with one another. 

The first crack had come a few days later, after they had spent their first night together in Bright Moon, when Catra had opened her eyes to stare at her lover’s back in the first pale rays of the dawning sun. She'd studied the slope of her shoulder, the few scattered moles across her spine, and finally her gaze settled on three faded scratches. Thin and pale white with age, but still there.

Her first instinctual thought was that she hated whoever had put them there. It took her a moment longer to realize that it had been her.

She was halfway across the palace grounds before she’d even realized that she had left, and that Adora was running after her, because of course she was — Catra was quiet, but Adora was the world’s lightest sleeper.

“Catra!” Adora had called, worry etched across her face. She'd looked absolutely ridiculous. Her hair was a bedraggled mess, and she’d clearly thrown her clothes on in a hurry, since her shirt was on backwards. Catra would probably have laughed, but it occurred to her just then that she was already crying.

“Catra, what’s wrong? Where are you going?” Adora had asked, grabbing for her hand.

“I’m not going anywhere.” She'd said. “I just -"

Her hands had clenched into fists. It was as if their honeymoon phase was crashing down around her. This illusion she’d built that they were okay, that she deserved any of this. What had she been thinking?

“The scars. On your back. I gave you those, didn’t I? At the Battle of Bright Moon. I’ve hurt you so many times.” 

The tears came faster. She couldn’t look at Adora anymore. She just stared at the ground, ashamed and furious at herself.

“Oh, Catra.” Adora had said, squeezing her hand. “I forgive you. I love you."

“You shouldn’t.” She’d replied.

“But I do.”

They were quiet for a moment. Catra felt her heart rate slow, her breath come easier. Adora loved her. And she loved Adora. Running away wouldn’t fix anything. She knew that she should have known that by now.

“Are you still leaving?” Adora had asked, and her voice was so small that Catra almost let herself spiral into self-hatred all over again. Instead, she cupped Adora’s cheek in her hand.

“Of course not. I never was, I just….” There it was again. The welling feeling of panic as she tried to work through her emotions. The too-familiar instinct to flee. “I know I have a lot to make up for. It’s…it’s a lot, sometimes."

Adora had smiled, and standing there with her messy hair and backwards shirt and teary eyes in the first early rays of the morning, she was the most beautiful thing that Catra had ever seen. “Okay, silly. But I have my regrets too, you know.” Adora pressed her forehead against hers. “We’ll make up for them here. Together."

Adora pulled away suddenly. “Now come back to bed. The guards over there have been staring at us the whole time and I think we're making a scene.” Adora waved across the clearing at the guards in question. The guards quickly looked very pointedly in the other direction.

That wasn’t the last time that Catra had felt the instinct to run. To give up, to push everyone away before she got hurt. She wished that it was, but years and years of learning to run at the first feeling of vulnerability or self-doubt couldn’t be erased so quickly. There were plenty of times after that she’d nearly walked away. Sometimes she’d be reminded of her past, reminded that she would never really feel like she deserved Adora or her new friends. Sometimes, it was simply that her feelings for Adora were so intense she couldn’t breathe.

Still, she was getting better at it. She’d come a long way. And for Adora, she’d keep trying. She’d push even further.

Catra still wasn’t sure she was the type of lover that Adora deserved. She wasn’t sure if she ever really would be. But she was done running.


End file.
